lets start a swedish sibling band together
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
