Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
