You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
