finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
