Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
