is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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