When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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