What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
You can't special order awesome
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
