Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Sorry about my life...
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
