I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
