I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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