that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
