D3 body, D1 cock
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
