I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
