I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
