I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
