so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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