when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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