thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Randomize
