she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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