Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
