please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
