just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
