You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
