I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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