I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
