I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Randomize
