32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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