so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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