If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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