Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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