you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
