And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
