if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
