I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
the condom got lost in my hair
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
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