He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
We are all done wearing pants today
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
