Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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