U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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