You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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