last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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