If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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