i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
