im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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