Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
