My friends, they love my intelligence
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
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