i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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