I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
