You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Randomize
