wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Do vagina's smell?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
