2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
The uberlube is also flammable
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
