normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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