i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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