I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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