I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
