So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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