Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
