she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
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