dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
