Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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