I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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