Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
