Pappa wants mamma naked
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
