Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
