dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
