i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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