gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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