I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Randomize
