Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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