he thought i was a dude.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
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